Be Careful What You Wish For
by Punk Angel's Dream
Summary: SPOILERS FOR THE CALM! Felicity had imagined thousands of different ways that she would kiss Oliver Queen. But she never thought up this scenario.


**A/N:** So, last night's premiere made me extremely angsty and this prompt bounced around in my head for several hours. I finally gave up and wrote it down (making myself cry in the process). I really hope that the writers are able to fix this, because I cannot handle all these feelings on a weekly basis. Anyway, enjoy my first attempt at Arrow fanfiction!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Arrow or any characters that you might recognize.

**Summary:** SPOILERS FOR THE CALM! Felicity had imagined thousands of different ways that she would kiss Oliver Queen. But she never thought up this scenario.

…

**Be Careful What You Wish For**

….

Felicity somehow manages to walk away from him calmly, not even looking back once. But the calm only lasts until she turns the corner. After that, she is running blindly down the hallway, the sound of her heels slamming into the tile echoing off the walls. Though her vision is blurring, she is able to see a bathroom and quickly locks herself inside so she can break down in peace.

Her fingers press against her lips as she collapses on the closed toilet lid with a sob. She had been dreaming about kissing Oliver Queen for years. She had thought that she had imagined every possible scenario that could play out in real life, some of them PG- rated and others that could grace the pages of a trashy romance novel. But she never imagined this scene.

She never thought that their first kiss would also be a goodbye.

Tears run unchecked down her face as she starts to rub her lips, trying to wipe away the memories as easily as she is able to wipe away her lipstick. But her mind is still clinging to the details. His taste, the feeling of his hands cradling her face, the way he breathed her in, and his words.

God, those words. She lets out a shriek of anger and slaps the wall, ignoring the pain, as those words play over and over again.

"Don't ask me to say that I don't love you."

How dare he tell her that after ripping her heart out?! He was acting as if that one sentence would make everything all better, but it only made the pain worse. It meant that he loved her, but he didn't love her enough to try. It meant that he didn't think that she was worth the risk.

She wasn't stupid. Felicity knew that it was over the moment that she had heard Oliver's speech to Diggle earlier that evening. If he really thought that he could not have a family, then he had pretty much already kicked her to the curb. And she had silently cried as Dig had walked out of the lair, knowing that she would be pushed away next. Then there was the speech he gave on the steps of Queen Consolidated. It's the reason she had put off their talk as long as she could. She did not want to hear about how he couldn't be two different people.

And she would not wait for him to get over his manpain once again. She was sick and tired of waiting for Oliver to finally allow himself to move on from his past and be happy. It was time to turn the tables. It was _his_ turn to watch _her_ walk away. It was _her_ decision to end it. So she had, leaving him in the middle of the hallway with his hands cupping the air where her face once was.

In fact, she was done with all of it. She could not take being good enough for the Arrow but not being good enough for Oliver Queen any more. She needs to cut her losses and walk away from it all, or she will just leave herself open for more pain. Maybe she could even take Ray Palmer up on his job offer. Then she could get her life back on track…well, at least her career.

She stands up and looks at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, grimacing. Her eyes are red and swollen behind her glasses, makeup smudged around her eyes. Most of her lipstick is gone, now a pink smear on the back of her hand.

Felicity turns on the water and begins to clean herself up, planning things in her head. She would send a text to Dig or Roy, giving them all the passwords that they would need to access her babies in the lair. It would probably be better to text Roy, so she didn't interrupt Dig's happy moment. He'd find out everything soon enough.

She only allowed one thought of cowardice. She would avoid seeing or talking to Oliver. It is possible that she might even have to get a new number, because he would text her to ask her to come back as his computer expert. Always the IT girl to him…

With her face finally clean, she stands up straight and fixes her hair. If she was going to go through with any of this, then she needed to do it now before she lost her nerve.

As her hand reaches for the door handle, her cellphone begins to ring. She rummages through her purse, recognizing the custom ringtone although it has never played before. She answers quickly, confused. "Laurel?"

Sobs echo from the other end of the line, putting her on high alert. "Felicity?! I can't get Oliver! I need Oliver!"

The hysterical tone of her voice keeps Felicity from making some snarky comment. "What's wrong?" She calls out, walking out of the bathroom.

She stops moving as soon as Laurel screams the answer into the receiver. All of the plans that she has just made come crumbling down as she registers the two words in her head. She knows that she cannot abandon the team now…

"Sara's dead!"

….

**A/N:** As if the pain wasn't bad enough, I had to add that last part. Ugh! I've been so upset since last night! And it isn't helping that I keep blaring sad songs that remind me of Oliver and Felicity. Here's the playlist:

_Bittersweet Memories – Bullet for My Valentine  
>Better Sorry Than Safe – Halestorm<br>Do You Wish It Was Me – Jason Aldean  
>You and I – Lady Gaga<br>Come Wake Me Up – Rascal Flatts  
>Not Strong Enough – Apocalyptica feat. Brent Smith<br>Buzzkill – Luke Bryan_

Hope I didn't upset too many people. Hopefully, I'll have happier things to write about in the next few weeks. Read and review! And if you have any prompts for me, then message me here or on Tumblr (little-miss-gambit).


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